One of these days
by Silvy-chan
Summary: Hisoka got to thinking about Tsuzuki after another run in with Muraki. With all that's happened, will one bad argument change their lives forever?
1. One of These Days

A/n: This started out as ficlet drabble... and turned into a full-blown story. I'm really bad at one shots... I was in a really bad dry spell till I started listening to music. That's where this idea came from. All the chapter titles are Michelle Branch songs. THIS IS NOT A SONG FIC! Please comment or something. I'd love some feedback. Please! Please! Please!

Characters and anything Descendents of Darkness belong to its creator

Song and song titles belong to Michelle Branch

One of These Days

Hisoka sat quietly, staring at the rain slowly drip down the windowsill; gladly soaking in the silence of his surroundings. Things had been pretty calm the past few days; everyone was resting, recovering from the last run-in with Muraki. Tsuzuki especially. Muraki had this odd fascination with Tsuzuki, trying to molest him every chance he got.

Hisoka glanced down at his clenched fists. White knuckles with a glimmer of crimson.

The thought of Muraki angered him, it always did. But lately, more so. Muraki's attempts at Tsuzuki were becoming more often, almost resulting in Tsuzuki's death.

The blood running from his palm at a quicker pace than the moment before. He unclenched his hands to relieve the tension and look at the battle of nails versus palm... his nails won.

"Why do I care?" He wondered out loud looking over the full damage to his palm. "Tsuzuki is my partner, I guess it's natural." And yet he knew that wasn't the reason.

He watched as the c-shaped marks started to disappear, making it easier to see all the short shallow lines on his hand. He knew what they meant. Tsuzuki thought it would be a good idea to have their fortunes told. Hisoka didn't need someone else to tell him how bad his future would be.

"Unlucky in life, in love, all I've got going for me is looks... not that it matters." Hisoka almost laughed at the ironic memory.

"C'mon Hisoka! It'll be fun, I promise!"

"... We'll be late, and we don't have the money."

"I'll work it off later, please? Please? Please?"

"...Fine, just be quiet..."

"Come, sit down and I'll read your fortune, the cute ones get a discount." Tsuzuki was eager and Hisoka refused to go first, not that he could if he wanted to. "You'll face many hardships in your life. You're deep in debt and will never be able to pay it all off. You have a strong lifeline; you'll be healthy for a while. As for love...do you have a special someone at the moment?"

"No, I don't."

"Be careful, there's a break that's a little blurry at the moment. Don't rush into anything, it may end up hurting you the most."

"Oh..."

"Would your friend like a reading?"

Hisoka shook his head. He wasn't in the mood to hear something depressing.

"Come on Hisoka, you said you would earlier."

"..."

"Come ooooooooooo-"

"Fine! Just stop whining."

"Sit down and give me your palm." One glance at his hand and her face turned grim. "Oh my... where do I start? Your lifeline is very shallow... and short... just, just be careful. Your wealth will be basic; you'll have enough to get by. As for love... well... at least you're cute?" Hisoka abruptly stood up.

"Pay her and hurry up. I won't wait for you."

Staring at his hands he knew where his love line was. He could barely see it.

"He seems depressed since Tsuzuki's been in the infirmary."

"They are partners, they become close."

"But I've never seen him this brooding before. Just sits and stares out the window."

"They don't think I can hear them." Tatsumi and Watari were standing just outside the door. "Maybe they're right, maybe I am depressed, maybe it's because of Tsuzuki..." He couldn't look away from his love line. "And maybe it's so hard to see because it mirrors my relationship with Tsuzuki... faint..."

Hisoka got up slowly, bracing himself for a bombardment of emotion when he would walk into the infirmary.

"Hisoka!"

"Oh, Hisoka, how are you?" Watari looked concerned.

"Fine." Hisoka walked past them but paused at the end of the hallway. "Don't worry about me."

"What?"

"I could hear you." He continued around the corner toward the noise, toward emotions, toward his partner. To Tsuzuki.

A/n: Please review! Give me feed back, something! This story will be in six parts with a choice of good or bad endings. (The will be separate and specified). I'm trying to get this one done with before I go back to my other ones. There will be updates of all stories until I run out of material. I look forward to reviews... please!


	2. Are You Happy Now?

A/n: A re-edit of this chapter, it bothered me how bad it was, this should be easier to understand. I want to apologize for not updating for a while (it's been months! Since May I think…) Chapter 3 has been giving me some trouble. (Why can't I write Hisoka Angst? Little hint of what's to come) If anyone thinks they can help me with this send a pm or something! Oh, and to be clear, Tsuzuki does NOT know about Hisoka's connection to Muraki or really anything about his past at this point… just to be clear…

I own nothing nor will be gaining any profit off this… Hisoka and Tsuzuki belong to their creator as well as all the other people and things…. Yeah!

Are You Happy Now?

Tsuzuki sat in bed staring at the same white plaster ceiling for the fourth day in a row. It was soooooo boring, nothing to do… He felt he would die if he had to be alone any longer. Short visits every once in a while from Watari, Tatsumi … and the Count… they got him through, but things have quieted down recently, and Hisoka…

"I haven't seen Hisoka since Muraki… Why is he so affected every time we run into Muraki?" Thinking it over, he decided Hisoka was in worse shape than him. "I hope he's well."

Tsuzuki couldn't think of anything that would make him happier than Hisoka being okay. He couldn't even try to remember all the times Hisoka had saved him, many from himself.

"I don't know what I'd do without him…" He smiled up at that white ceiling. "I wish I knew more about him, but he's so reserved…" Sure they had a rocky start, but now. Tsuzuki couldn't imagine his life without Hisoka.

"Is this how love is supposed to feel?" He felt like this for a while now, he knew and accepted this fact. A sad smile crossed his face knowing Hisoka would never return his feelings.

He sat in silence for no more than five minutes until he let out a frustrated noise. "I can't stand it! It's too quiet, I'm gonna die!"

"No you won't." Tsuzuki's face lit up when he heard another voice in the room.

"Hisoka!"

"You have too much debt to die, and I'm not working if off for you."

"… Thanks…"

"How are you doing?" Tsuzuki beamed at his partners caring words.

"I've been better. But I don't have to stay in bed too much longer."

"What's wrong?" Hisoka's abruptness surprised him, Tsuzuki didn't know what Hisoka was asking about.

"What? Nothing's wrong."

"You can't hide things from me, I can feel what you feel. What's on your mind?"

"Really Hisoka, it's nothing, not important."

Hisoka was concerned for his partner, but it didn't come across that way. Tsuzuki felt a chill slide down his spine from Hisoka's icy glare. When Hisoka wanted to know something, he used scare tactics to get it. Tsuzuki was about the only person in the department who didn't know. Hisoka's voice was laced with bitter cold.

"I come here to see how you're doing, if you're okay, and then you won't tell me."

"I'm not- I don't… We all have things we don't want to share. I mean Hisoka you-"

"I what?" He snapped trying to unnerve Tsuzuki, make him open up.

"You hide things from me all the time." The silence was sharp and awkward. Tsuzuki started to fidget while Hisoka thought of what to say next. Things like this were always impersonal, quick. Now that he was involved… Something started to cloud his thoughts, and emotion he wasn't used to, nor did he know where it was coming from.

"That has nothing to do with this! That's all in the past, and don't compare us! I am in no way similar to an idiot like you!"

"Is that what you think of me? An idiot?"

"Close to it, I swear, if we weren't partners-"

"So that's it? That's why you came to see how I was doing?"

"I was trying to be nice."

"Well don't! I don't need your pity. And now I know why you're such a brat all the time!"

"What did you call me?"

"A brat! You're so used to getting your own way. You can't stand me!"

"I can't say that I do!"

"You're just like Muraki," Hisoka was taken aback but would not let it show. "You do things only for your own gain!"

"Is that so? You know what I don't get?"

"What would that be?" Tsuzuki spoke with an angry sarcasm no one thought Tsuzuki capable of.

"I don't get why Muraki cares so much you, I don't see how anyone can put up with you!"

"Then why are you still here? No one's forcing you to stay!"

"I'm already gone!"

The door rattled in the frame from the force of the slam. Both Tsuzuki and Hisoka couldn't help but think…

'_What just happened?'_

A/N: Thanks for putting up with the long wait, (I'm sorry again!) And it's not even a new chapter… only a re-edit… at this rate how can you put up with me? (Please do!) I must say though, 3rd times the charm. (It's my third draft) and it makes sense this time… at least I think so… right? Tell me what you think of this one kay? Review!


	3. Sweet Misery

Sweet Misery

A/N: Yay! Chapter 3 is finally here! If you haven't read my updated ch. 2 please do. This chapter will make more sense if you do! Thanks for putting up with me for so long and I'm trying to work hard to please you (and myself) as well as update sooner. So without further ado I would like to present Silvy-chan's rendition of One of These Days chapter three… Sweet Misery… enjoy.

As usual, I own nothing and everyone (along with their respective storylines) belong to their creator. Yay!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ P.O.V. Hisoka~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to be angry, I really do. I should be pissed… but I'm not, and I don't know why. Anger, frustration, violence, all easier to cope with than this. I'm used to those feelings, I can snub them no problem, but this? I'm not even sure what THIS is!

I don't handle most emotions well, so anything to divert my attention was a welcome distraction. I have found the rain to be a soothing outlet, the rhythmic tapping of water on the glass window, it helps me concentrate.

I have never had such a difficult time trying to think straight. Thunder, lightning, the loud pounding noise clears my head of others' emotions, except this one… is this one really mine? And what is it?

The rain was still pouring outside when I took my usual seat by the window. Staring outside, I felt empty inside. Not emotionless, not the kind of empty I wish I felt in large crowds, no. It feels sharp, bitter, cold.

My thoughts drew back to my hand, trying to forget my fight with Tsuzuki. Outstretched and open, pale. Makes me look innocent… and vulnerable. I drew my hands into fists. Not much better, a little kid having a tantrum.

I looked back out at the gray covered landscape. "Why would he say something like that?" No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about what Tsuzuki said. "Just like Muraki? Am I really no better than-" Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my cheeks. My sight grew blurry as I futilely tried to wipe the tears away. I don't know why… I'm not the type to cry. If I let things get to me, I wouldn't have survived as long as I did. Not that it matters now, in fact, maybe it would have been better if I did die earlier… I have a limit, I do, I almost reached it multiple times in my life…

When I was younger, mom and dad would talk in hushed tones so I wouldn't hear them… It didn't work…

"He's at it again today."

"Hush honey, he might hear you."

"What are we going to do with him?"

"What I've been suggesting all along… we put him out of our misery-"

"People will get suspicious."

"So we poison him and he'll die of a "sudden illness"."

"But and autopsy will show-"

"And we'll be so devastated from the death of our "son"."

"I just don't want to risk anyone finding our guilt."

"What if we found someone to kill him!"

"Who could we trust to kill him and keep it a secret?"

"I'll have to take the time to look into it."

They spoke like this many times, and as I got older they didn't even try to hide it anymore…

"What if we poisoned his drink and made it look like suicide?"

"And make us look like bad parents?"

"Work with me here! I don't know how much more I can take…"

On more than one occasion I wanted to ease their pain and end it myself…

"C'mon Hisoka… how hard is it to drink a little bottle of liquid? It doesn't even have a taste…"

But I was always too afraid. So I spent my time preparing for my parents to finally end it. What I wasn't prepared for was what actually happened, and that's what scared me the most of all.

"Honey, I found him!"

"Found who dear?"

"The person we've been looking for, his name is … and he's perfect!"

"And you're sure this … is trustworthy?"

"Positive, we've started planning. The sooner the better, what do you think?"

"Tomorrow night, the moon will be full."

"Since when are you superstitious?"

"I'm not, I just think it will be a lovely night."

"Of course honey, I'll inform … immediately."

My memory of the man and the night in question are fuzzy, gone almost entirely, but I do remember fear. It was almost unbearable, and entirely my own…

I've lived a life filled with hate. I've never known love, and I wouldn't have known it if I felt it. I still wouldn't. Not much has changed since then…

The rain had subsided and the sun glinted through the clouds inside my room. It's rays caught on something silver on the edge of the table, drawing my eyes and reaffirming my thoughts…

"I'm going to do what I never had the nerve to all those years ago."

And I picked up the knife…

A/N: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Cliffhanger ending! Don't you just hate those? Especially when the next chapter doesn't resolve it/has nothing to do with this part of the story… Was that a spoiler? Maybe! We're halfway there so stay with me. The hard part is over. (For me anyway). Now I plan on updating soon! Maybe even over MEA break (I have 2 days off of school so I can get to writing… by the way, it's this weekend… {October 21-24} HA! Brackets inside parenthesis, I love it! ) I can't wait to hear your comments!


	4. You Get Me

You Get Me

A/N: It's been so long! I'm trying to get this done, but seriously it's getting difficult. There are only gonna be 6 chapters so we're almost done here (well more like 7 cuz there will be 2 endings… I couldn't decide how to end it!) I want to apologize for taking so long, school is pretty intense right now and it really has been a while. I get email alerts when you guys review! So remind me okay? Now without further ado (and I know you guys have been waiting for it… Chapter 4: You Get Me

As usual, I own nothing and everyone (along with their respective storylines) belong to their creator. Yay!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ P.O.V. Tsuzuki ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't believe him! Who does he think he is? I'm in the infirmary and he's acting like an entitled brat!"

I mean really, he's acting like he's the only one who's ever died young. Sure he's only 17… or is he 16…? Doesn't matter! I've had it worse off! Died at 26 with meticulous attempts to kill myself; starvation, sleep deprivation, I only finally died after cutting myself over and over and over…

I looked down at my hands, the memory coming slowly back to me. There are still faint marks on my wrists that never healed… that was over 70 years ago.

"Tsuzuki? Are you alright? I heard the door slam…"

"It's fine Tatsumi, I had a little argument with Hisoka, that's all. He's a real jerk sometimes."

"You've got to give the kid a break, growing up as he did-"

"You mean a spoiled little rich kid?"

Tatsumi shook his head. "No. I mean as an Empath. Normal people don't accept those who are strange and different. His parents thought this way too."

"His parents?"

"They hated him, punished him for no reason, the kind that leave no physical scars… they even planned to kill him."

I really thought about what Tatsumi said, I didn't realize how bad Hisoka had it, and dying at a young age on top of that… Tatsumi looked down at his hands, and I think, though it was hard to tell in the lighting, that they were shaking a bit.

"Tatsumi? What is it?"

"I'm worried about him Tsuzuki, he keeps telling me not to, but I can't help it. Not with all these run-ins with Muraki."

"I've been meaning to ask someone about that. I mean yeah, Muraki's a creep and won't leave me the hell alone, but why does Hisoka care about him so much?"

"I'm not sure how much he remembers about his death, after all it was over a period of time."

"Yeah, he was sick wasn't he?"

"That's not quite right… a couple months earlier, before he came down with the sudden "disease"… and this is the part I don't think he remembers… but Hisoka was…"

"Was what? What is it Tatsumi?"

"Will you just be patient? It's hard for even me to say…"

"Sorry…"

Tatsumi took a shallow breath and I could definitely tell his hands were shaking now.

"Hisoka was raped-"

"WHAT? Are you sure?"

"Yes… and he was placed under a curse. That's what caused his "illness" and I believe it still pains him today."

"I-I had no idea… poor Hisoka. But wait. What does that have to do with-"

"Muraki placed him under that curse."

"And he-"

"Yes."

He cut me off even before I had the chance to think the word. "That's why I worry so much. Even when he says he's okay. You can never tell, you know?"

"Yeah. I know…"

I dropped my gaze. I couldn't bear to look at Tatsumi, not after the fight I had with Hisoka… how could I say such horrible things? _Just like Muraki. _Damn…

"I've got to go apologize."

"Tsuzuki, you're still on bed rest-"

"I'm basically better already and I really need to talk to him. I said some pretty horrible things…"

"I won't stop you, but be careful, we don't need you hurting yourself worse."

My getting up was slow and meticulous, I was in a surprising amount of pain, guess I'm going back on bed rest… I looked at my hand as I limped down the hall. I don't know why I was drawn to it…my love line…

I just stood there looking at it, remembering the fortuneteller.

"No, I don't have a "special someone", not like that, but the person who's special to me feels horrible, and I know it's my fault…"

A/N: And it's done! I hope it's okay… I wrote this one in 2 days and typed it up as quickly as possible…(I got a review that just made me smile and laugh a bit) so here it is! I can always take constructive criticism… but don't be mean okay guys? I love to hear your reviews. And I really am working on it… Chapter 5 is probably gonna be really short. Just a set up for the end getting ready for the climax and wrap up you know what I mean… I've already got some idea for another story… but I want your guys' opinions… should I write another TsuSoka one or maybe Seto and Joey from Yu-Gi-Oh!… what do you think?


	5. Sooner or Later

Sooner or Later

A/N: So I originally planned on making this a set up chapter to get ready for the end… but I found that to be redundant, short, and very difficult. So I'm gonna skip it. Then I couldn't decide how to end it, so I'm gonna make you all wait while I debate the ending! Mwahahahahaha! JK! I would hate myself if I did that to you all. So I'm gonna write 2 different chapters to end the story. A good ending and a bad ending, and I'll post them at the same time. (That way you can decide what to read. Although I would really appreciate reading both. They will be very different too!) Now since I'm pretty sure there's a rule against posting an author note as a chapter, I'm gonna write you guys a little side story. Introducing Tatsumi and Watari in: Chapter 5: Sooner or Later.

As usual, I own nothing and everyone (along with their respective storylines) belong to their creator. Yay!

It had been weeks since Watari had seen the light of day, or even made human contact. He was mentally drained and in an emotional state of withdrawal. Why hadn't somebody come to see him, maybe wonder why he'd been gone for so long, inquire about his new invention? He turned to look at the average size box. Just by looking at it, no one would be able to tell what it was.

The heavy metal door creaked as it was pushed open. It was Tatsumi carrying a plate of the worst smelling food Watari had ever known.

"What is that?" He grimaced wrinkling his nose to show his disgust.

"I could ask you the same thing." Tatsumi put down the plate on a desk knocking a stack of papers on the floor. "Is that what you've been working on this whole time?"

"It's my new invention." Watari bent down to pick up the papers at Tatsumi's feet.

"It's a box."

"Not just any box."

"What kind of box is it?"

"A metal box!" Watari couldn't help smile at his own bit of humor. Tatsumi just sighed.

"Well, what does this metal box do?"

"I thought you would never ask!"

He walked over to his invention taking what looked to be a fruit off the plate of food on the way. "This has yet to be named, but you can put any object into this box, size permitting of course." He put the fruit into the box-shaped machine. "Then you press this button and…" the machine emit a bright light and loud whrrring sound. It clicked when it was done.

"And what?"

"Ta-dah!" Watari pulled out the fruit.

"It's the same fruit. What did it do?"

"It turned it into… A Paperweight! You Christmas present nightmares are over!"

"I swear you come up with the most stupid-"

"Hey!" Watari held his hand up next to Tatsumi's face. "I won't have you bad mouthing my inventions. But I'm too tired to slap you, so bash your face against my palm!" Watari looked serious, which made Tatsumi start to laugh. He continued to laugh even harder when Watari started to pout.

"Stop that! It isn't funny!" Tatsumi took a breath; he was still chuckling a little but took a step toward Watari.

"Thank you." Watari looked confused, Tatsumi just smiled.

"Wh-what f-for?" Watari began to blush as Tatsumi continued to step closer.

"I haven't laughed like that for a long time."

"W-well you d-do come off a little st-stern."

"Maybe you could help with that."

Watari felt his back hit the wall. He was trapped, nowhere to escape! Tatsumi gently cupped Watari's face in his hand. "That is, as long as you don't mind." Unwilling to be outdone Watari took the offensive and their lips met in a passionate kiss, an alternating fight for dominance.

Not two minutes into this personal battle they were interrupted by Gushoshin.

"Watari I came to check-" he trailed off when he caught sight of Watari and Tatsumi, glasses askew, hair sticking up in odd places, shirts unbuttoned. "I-I-I Sorry!"

The two men laughed as Gushoshin ran out of the room and then proceeded to straighten themselves up.

"That was something." Watari said handing Tatsumi his glasses.

"Something alright…" He smoothed his hair down in the back "I just thought of something to call your machine."

"What would that be?"

"A waste of time. I mean, who uses paper weights anyway?"

And the two continued to laughed even when Watari tackled Tatsumi to the ground.

A/N: Awwww. Wasn't that a cute little story to break up the depressing? Alright so the next 2 chapters will be updated at the same time. #6 will be the bad ending and #7 will be the good ending. Read whichever you want first, but I really do suggest you read both. (I put a lot of time into both of the chapters and I'd like you to tell me which one was written better….) I'm almost done I promise! Please Review…. Oh! And I plan on writing a short set of ficlets for yu-gi-oh. As well as another short TsuSoka one! It'll be cute not depressing. I promise!


	6. Empty Handed bad ending

Empty Handed

A/N: So this is it. The end of the story. I don't want to keep you from it so here it is Chapter 6: Empty Handed (bad ending)

As usual, I own nothing and everyone (along with their respective storylines) belong to their creator.

Hisoka turned the knife over in his hands. The blade was sharp and cold to the touch. He took a deep breath.

"Now what am I going to do with it?" He sat in the window taking in the sight of the knife, all the details, thinking of the easiest, quickest, most painless thing he could do with it. He had to make sure it would kill faster than he could heal. A thought came to him that made him put down the knife. "A note, it would be selfish of me to do this without leaving some sort of explanation."

So he wrote a letter explaining himself to the others of the bureau. Looking over the note he prepared himself for what was to come. He made sure he had a firm grip on the knife and positioned it lengthwise in front of his neck. He stood facing a mirror to make sure he wouldn't miss. All he had to do was sever his jugular and there would be no chance of survival. He would bleed out in seconds, no time for regeneration.

He pulled the blade close to his neck, but pulled it away when the cold metal touched his skin. He was hesitating almost hoping someone would come in and stop him. He would wait 5 minutes… just in case…

Tsuzuki stumbled down the same hall for the third time now…

"Since when have I been this forgetful? Where is Hisoka's room?" He leaned against the wall to regain his composure. He was out of breath and his side was throbbing. He could barely keep going, and from a medical standpoint he shouldn't continue, but something kept him at it. A feeling of urgency, a need to see Hisoka, and quickly. He had to keep going. It was taking him way too long…

Hisoka's mouth twisted into a frown. Seven minutes of silence. No one came, nothing happened. What was he waiting for anyway? Who was he waiting for? He couldn't wait any longer and this time, without hesitation, he thrust the knife up, tearing the delicate pale skin of his neck, crimson liquid poured from the wound staining the white flesh and splattering on the mirror. He collapsed.

At that same moment, the door flew open with a sense of urgency and Tsuzuki, standing in the doorway, eyes wide with terror, mouth hung open, speechless. He had made it, too late.

Too late for what?

He rushed to his partner. A limp figure crumpled face down on the floor. Tsuzuki started trembling, not sure what to do. He carefully turned Hisoka over and jumped back when he saw the look frozen on Hisoka's cold face.

Surprise and anguish told Tsuzuki all he needed to know. In the split second before death, Hisoka had seen the door open and regret his decision, but it had been too late. There was nothing that could be done now.

"If I was just a little quicker, Hi-hisoka…" tears welled in Tsuzuki's eyes as he backed away from his friend. Something fluttered to his feet and he choked when he saw it… a suicide not.

To My Friends,

I've told you time and again not to worry about me, but you never listen. No one ever does, so for the final time, please don't worry. I've thought this through and find it to be the best possible outcome. No more fear, no more worry, no more pain. A better place where I can feel, nothing. I want to assure you that this is entirely my choice and of no fault to you. And I want to thank you all for being so nice to me while I was here.

_Chief—it was a pleasure working for you and I enjoyed the time I've spent here tin the Judgment Bureau._

_Watari—although your methods are less than conventional, I've never doubted your knowledge or practice of medicine and the sciences._

_Tatsumi—you've been looking out for me since I got here and worried the most. That's why I want to ask you to look after Tsuzuki for me._

_And to Tsuzuki, my partner—Everyday you'd confuse me. I'd be at my wits end, but it was a nice change of pace. Someone to pay attention to and care about what I needed. You made me feel things I wasn't used to, or know what they were. I felt nervous whenever you were near me, afraid to say the wrong things. Afraid you would ignore me or treat me like so many others if I didn't live up to expectations. I know better now, and I can't help my heart races when I'm near you… Tsuzuki, I'm pretty sure I love you…_

Tsuzuki blinked. Love? Hisoka loved him? Why had he never said anything before?

"Damn you Hisoka! You act entirely disinterested covering up your feelings along with others'. How was I supposed to know? How could I tell? How could you… when I love you… I've felt that way since…"

Tears streamed down his cheeks and smeared the ink it landed on. It was smudged but he could just make out the rest of the letter.

But I must say goodbye and just maybe, I'll see you again one day. Good bye Tsuzuki, good bye everyone. Hisoka Kurosaki…

"Hisoka… if only you knew what you mean to me… You're the only thing that kept me going… now you've left me empty handed…"

Tsuzuki saw the knife that had fallen out of Hisoka's hand. A thought came to him. He picked up the knife. He would see Hisoka again…

Rain poured down on the Judgment Bureau for a week now. The weather mirroring how everyone felt. Tatsumi stacked his papers for the fourth time that hour. He was slowly losing his ability to concentrate. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Watari came in silently closing the door behind him and sat down on Tatsumi's desk.

"You okay buddy?" Even Watari could only manage a sad half smile.

"I'm alright. I still can't believe it though…"

"None of us can. It was so sudden, everyone's devastated."

"I know Watari, I know. It's just, you and never tell. Tsuzuki was always so cheerful, I mean he had some troubles in the past but-"

"Hisoka's death triggered it… I don't care how many times he told us otherwise, he wasn't alright… we should have done something."

"What could we have done? He wasn't going to admit something was wrong. I hate to say this but… these things happen…" Tatsumi stood up and faced Watari. "But why did it have to happen to them?"

A single tear rolled down Tatsumi's cheek. Watari stood next to his friend and kissed him softly.

"I don't know, we'll never know…"

A/N: So so so so so very sad! I hate it and love it at the same time! But at least it's done! Tell me what you think. Also read the other chap. Don't worry that's the good ending! I finally finished a story and it's pretty damn good if I do say so myself (pardon my language). I'll be uploading some other stories… thinking of writing smut… not sure though. It would totally be TsuSoka… would anyone read it.. and where should I put it? I'm thinking deviantart or maybe figment… I don't know what the rating issue is on that site though… tell me what you think and stay with me yeah? Love you all who read it and I hope you stick with me! I couldn't do this without you!


	7. Here With Me good ending

Here With Me

A/N: So this is it. The end of the story. I don't want to keep you from it so here it is Chapter 6: Here With Me (good ending)

As usual, I own nothing and everyone (along with their respective storylines) belong to their creator.

Tsuzuki stopped to take a breath. Every movement he made put him in pain. He thought about stopping multiple times, he could wait till he was better, what was the hurry? But every time he leaned against the wall to catch his breath, his chest tensed up.

"I have to see him." Every step he took was slower, more meticulous, more painful than the last. "Why is this taking so long?" He stopped and looked around. Had he already been down this hall? He saw the sign for the infirmary. He had been going the wrong way! and now he had to start over, this better be worth it…

Hisoka took a couple of breaths to stop his hands from shaking. He stared at the knife on the floor, he had been trembling so much he couldn't hold onto it, and dropped it. He was afraid, terrified even, of the thought of dying for the second time. What would happen to him then? Where else was there to go?

"I have to do this… I never could before… now's my chance to be strong." He sat down looking out the window one last time, pen and paper in hand, ready to explain himself… once he found the words.

It didn't take him too long to write, but now he had no more excuses. He picked up the knife and prepared himself. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't steady his hands as he thrust the knife up toward his throat.

"Are you alright my darling?" Tsuzuki found himself in the arms of the Count. He wasn't sure what he had tripped on, and he hadn't been going fast enough to trip over his own feet. It was possible that Count had tripped him.

"I'm fine Count, thanks for catching me, but I don't have time to chat. I have to find Hisoka!" The words were a blur out of his mouth.

"Oh my! Is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure, that's why I need to see him!"

"Have you checked his room?"

"I'm on my way there right now!" Tsuzuki started to hurry down the hall.

"…but you're going the wrong way…" Tsuzuki stopped dead.

"Do you know the way?" Count chuckled.

"Oh you underestimate me dear Tsuzuki. Come, I'll help you." Count led Tsuzuki down many different hallways, all of them looked the same.

"No wonder I got lost. Why are there so many hallways?" The longer they walked, the more Tsuzuki started to worry. His pulse sped up and his hands started shaking. Count stopped suddenly.

"Third door on the right. I hope he's okay."

"So do I Count, so do I…" Tsuzuki went on alone. He stood outside the door with his hands on the knob. Worried as to what he might see. He felt a breeze through the crack in the door. A piece of paper blew out from under the door and landed on Tsuzuki's feet. He bent down to pick it up and read:

_To my friends,_

_I've told you many times not to worry about me._

He skimmed ahead.

Thank you all for being so nice to me while I was here.

His eyes grew wide and he dropped the letter. "Hisoka!" He pushed open the door as quickly as he could and it slammed against the wall. He stood frozen from what he saw. Hisoka was slumped against the windowsill, but jumped when he heard the door slam.

"Ts-tsuzuki? What?" Tsuzuki ran over and embraced his friend. When he was done, he shook him by the shoulders.

"ARE YOU CRAZY? I've never been so worried about you before! What on Earth were you thinking?"

"I-I-I…" Tears began to well in Hisoka's eyes, he could feel Tsuzuki's hands shaking.

It was that moment Hisoka knew he had done a terrible thing. To even contemplate suicide…

"I-I'm so sorry Tsuzuki…"

"Did you even think about what you were doing?"

"Well-"

"Who knows what would have happened if I didn't come when I did!"

"…It would have been too late…"

"What?"

"I got scared and decided against it… if I hadn't I'd be-"

"Don't say it!"

"Sorry…" The silence that followed was chilling with the thought of what could have happened.

"Tsuzuki?" He jumped when Hisoka spoke.

"Huh?"

"What is this feeling?" Hisoka looked small next to his partner. "It's, it's strange. I've never felt it before. I… I have chills. I… I can feel my body tingling all over. I get goose bumps… And my heart…" He put his hand to his chest and closed his eyes. "Starts to race… when I see you…" A small blush colored Hisoka's face and Tsuzuki laughed softly.

"Hisoka, come here." He pulled Hisoka to him and the blush grew darker, easily visible of such a pale face. Tsuzuki smiled. "That feeling fills you with warmth doesn't it?" Hisoka nodded. "I know the feeling well… It's love." Hisoka's eyes grew wide for a second, then were closed in thought.

"Love." He whispered. "It feels… nice."

"I know… I love you Hisoka." Hisoka was taken aback, but slowly leaned in and rest his head on his partner's chest.

"Tsuzuki?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me something."

"Anything"

"You'll stay, here with me…"

"Always." He placed a hand on the side of Hisoka's face and tilted it up toward his own. He leaned down and kissed his partner softly. "I promise."

A/N: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! SO CUTE! And I finished! I'm so proud of myself! I've never written a whole story before! Yay! Tell me what you think (constructive criticism is cool, but no flames please!) I'd love it if you'd stay with me. Brainstorming new ideas! I think the next Yami no Matsuei one is gonna be cute/funny… really different from this one, but it'll still be TsuSoka. Maybe a little WatSumi too. Please read the other final chapter. I tried so hard writing both of these. Thank you all so very much, I hope you'll stay with me! And my stories… And if anyone cares, I'm gonna continue with my Rurouni Kenshin story I just took a break to write this one. Keep reading! You guys mean everything to me! Also I'm trying to start a Saiyuki abridged series but I need people to help! I'm gonna post some info on it real soon! Tell me what you think about that too! And if any of you are interested let me know! Silvy-chan!


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